Symmetry of the Pirate

Tired of thinking about the Mortgage Bailout? Well, lets think about something a little more pressing, shall we?

Can someone please explain to me why pirates are so damn asymmetric. There’s the eye patch, the peg leg, the earring, the hook, the parrot, and not to mention the lose of teeth due to scurvy. Really, is it a prerequisite of the job or does it occur because of the job itself? Sure it is a dangerous occupation. There are sword fights and shark attacks. Both easy ways to lose a hand, foot and/or eye. But what about the earring? That is of their own doing. It seems to me that either way you slice it you have to, at he very least, be fine with sacrificing your symmetry for the job. Not an occupational hazard just anyone is willing to risk. But pirates are. What is it in his/her personality that sees this as a non-issue?
Lets delve into the psychographics, ok? Symmetry is the basis of beauty and most ordinary people put a very high value on it. Pirates are not your ordinary human though. They can be categorized as being reckless, anti-establishment and rebellious. They don’t have ordinary ideals and beliefs. If they did, I’m sure they would have been conquistadors, which are pretty much government funded pirates that steal from less developed civilizations. Which brings up a very good point. Why are pirates the the only raider, pillager, and looter that is asymmetric? As stated, conquistadors aren’t. And an even closer cousin to the pirate, the viking, isn’t either. They could have easily had one horn, off to the side, on their helmut. But they chose not to. Why is it that pirates are the only ones?
Please help me put my mind to ease. Discuss.

1 Comment

Filed under Deep Thoughts, My Stuff / Friends Stuff

One response to “Symmetry of the Pirate

  1. nikki

    More Than You Wanted To Know–earring was to fund funerary needs (read:bribery in the afterlife) piracy was originally gov’t funded/approved. needed someone to do gov’t dirty work. think gov’t deniability. recieved a ‘wink & a nod’ until services no longer needed/profitability down/more people willing to risk it- became a nuisance. then became public enemy #1-not much has changed! btw, symmetry is more important in women (girls will forgive a lot for that bad boy thing) not just pirates- most sailors of the day weren’t pretty. partly occupational hazard, partly those psycographics-had to be a little off to endure trials of sailing, despite the romance novel portrayal, & if you weren’t already enough of a nutter, the trip would fix that! this would, of course, add to the unavoidable death & dismemberment by causing the occasional tiff, (read: drunken brawls, etc) besides, pirates were profiteers forced outlaw when services were no longer needed; conquistadors were explorers sent out to find & conquer lands. totally different job discription, no real comparison. & vikings just plain psychopaths–everyone knows psychos look like the nice, quiet NORMAL neighbor!

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