Ok, this whole Green movement has gone too far. I’m all about recycling, saving the environment and whatnot, but recycled toilet paper is too much. My roommate just bought some Seventh Generation toilet paper and this stuff is awful. It’s basically see through. That’s dangerous. And of course it isn’t soft to the touch. Saving the environment is essential, but i think there should be some sort of hierarchy of needs. And saving my ass definitely comes before saving the environment. God knows I’m not going to be very effective at saving the environment with an itchy ass.
Not to mention the branding for this stuff is suspect. Seventh Generation? Really? This is seventh generation toilet paper? This suggests that this paper has wiped seven asses and it is about to be eight. Is there Eighth Generation toilet paper? If so, can I send my used sheets in? Awful! Just awful…
I’m open to title suggestions for this article. I had a hard time choosing:
– Shitty Ideas
– Going Green When Going Brown
– Seventh Generation My Ass
– Green ‘Bowel’ Movement